Finding fulfillment in everyday activities and being intentional in doing things that make me feel good is how I get my daily dose of self-care. I’ll never forget reaching out to a therapist when I was 5 months postpartum with my third baby. I had been experiencing a lot of emotions after becoming a stay-at-home mom and I had a very short fuse. You can read more about my stay-at-home journey in my post From Career Woman to Stay at Home Mom: A Mother’s Transition to Stay at Home Life.
Time for myself? When? How?
Pretty much, my aggravation was stemming from not having an outlet. I was told that I needed to carve out time for myself. I knew this advice was coming from a good place, but it was disheartening to hear at the time. My husband was working (across the other side of the world) and when I had help from my parents, I’d use that time to do laundry and prep dinner. It’s a harsh reality for a lot of moms who simply don’t have time in their schedules to solely dedicate to themselves. But here’s what I’ve learned: You CAN and need to think about yourself in order to keep going and combat depleted mother syndrome (aka mom burnout).
Create your Own Definition of Self-Care
Don’t let the internet define what self care means to you (as you’re reading this on the internet *laugh out loud*) But seriously, there’s a lot of chat regarding this term all over social platforms and one woman’s self care may not be your version in this stage of life. As a mom of 3, “busy” is my middle name and massages and girls weekends are just out of the question (at the moment). So what is my solution? Creating my own definition of self-care.
I’m in the “simple self-care” season of life.
Us moms spend so much time keeping everyone alive and thriving but it’s essential to take care of ourselves as well. And listen, as you read the list below, you’ll notice how easy some of the activities are. As I alluded to previously, I’m in the “simple self-care” season of life. But simple doesn’t mean that they’re not impactful. I challenge you to think about how little mindset shifts can impact your daily life. Did you know that positive thinking can actually reduce the stress hormone, cortisol? You can check out the impacts of positive thinking here. We’re human and we aren’t perfect. Striving to be and feel better is what I’m aiming for and encouraging you to do too! Here are a few of my favorite feel-good activities that automatically change my mood around and give me a nice surge of dopamine.
01.
Morning (or any time of day) Fresh Air
I said simple, didn’t I? Seriously though, fresh air is key for starting my mornings these days. There are also a ton of benefits, like improved mood and focus. Take a few minutes to breathe in that fresh air and get ready to conquer the day.
02.
Enjoying a Hot Beverage
Does anybody else go to bed thinking about their morning coffee or tea? Cool, because same! There’s just something about a hot drink that warms my soul. I do enjoy an iced coffee some afternoons but I’m a morning hot coffee or tea girl thru & thru. As far as making it feel special, go ahead and elevate it with flavored syrups, brown sugar, or frothy foam. Adding whipped cream and cinnamon are my current favs. I’m also a sucker for a cute mug.
03.
Starting a Skincare Routine
Skincare doesn’t have to be intimidating. There are so many options on the market. The secret is finding what works for you. If you don’t have a routine, not to fret. You can start by incorporating a gentle cleanser, moisturizer, and sunscreen. Creating a daily habit like this is prime-time self-care.
As I’m getting older, (and no longer paying to sit in a tanning bed… eeeek) daily sunscreen is a must. I use this tinted one as my foundation most days. It adds a pretty glow and also protects my skin. I’ve also been using Dime Beauty’s The Works System for close to three years. The system feels luxurious and I look forward to my morning and nighttime cleanse and moisturize. Once I’m done nursing my baby, I’ll probably add retinol to my routine, but I’m not there yet!
04.
Putting on Makeup
Applying makeup helps me feel put together. Half the time, I’m doing it one-handed with a baby on my side, but it gives me a boost and I just like it. Do I need it? Of course not, but it’s a fun way to take care of myself.
05.
Wearing a Cute Outfit
Yoga attire is my wardrobe 70% of the time but for the other 30%, I like to add denim, a romper, or a dress into the mix. Regardless of the clothing, pick out something cute for yourself and feel good wearing it.
06.
Taking a Walk Outside
Feeling overstimulated inside? Get out for a walk. Bring the kiddos along and make it a family affair. Mother Nature is powerful for the mind and soul. Not to sound all hippy-dippy, but it’s true! Being outside calms your mind and reduces anxiety. Check out more details in this article: 3 ways getting outside into nature helps improve your health.
07.
Exercising
Moving my body is how I alleviate a huge amount of my stress. Whether it’s a brisk walk or a more rigorous workout, it fills me with energy. According to HelpGuide.org, ” No matter your age or fitness level, you can learn to use exercise as a powerful tool to deal with mental health problems, improve your energy and outlook, and get more out of life.” You’ll never regret a workout. Invest in yourself!
08.
Taking a Relaxing Shower
Let me just start by saying that showers are absolutely a form of self-care. Yes, they are a primary human need but here’s how you can enhance your shower to make it feel spa-like:
- Light a candle
- Play soft music
- Use an exfoliating body scrub
- Add a shower steamer
- Give yourself a head massage
- Dry with a plush towel
- Moisturize with a great smelling lotion
- Wrap up in a comfy robe
09.
Nail Polish
Pretty nails make me happy. Whether you’re a salon chick or a polish at-home pro, having manicured nails is a relatively easy activity that can give you a little mood boost. There are so many options on the market these days, from nail stickers to press-ons and DIY gel kits. I just discovered the DIY gel kit from Manicurist. The polish is “clean” and GET THIS- it’s easy to remove (so I’m told). I’m tempted to try it. If you have any feedback, I’d love to hear it!
10.
Journaling
Remember those journals that came with a lock and key? I was such a journal kid and it’s flowed over to my adulthood. I will say that it’s always been an on-again, off-again interest of mine, but in the past year, I’ve made it a habit. Whether it’s writing down problems I’m working through or just daily gratitude, I take a few minutes to write it down. There are many benefits to journaling, like having a positive impact on your mental health and self-awareness. Here’s the journal that I currently write in.
11.
Meal prepping for yourself
Hey, don’t forget that Mama needs to eat too! Prepare yourself simple meals and snacks so you’re not eating your kid’s leftover dino nuggets. Start by pursuing social media: Pinterest, Instagram, TikTok, and getting meal prep inspiration. If you’re new to meal prep, then go easy and start with 1 meal and 1 snack idea. Make three of each and then after a few days, start again. You’ll thank yourself when it’s lunchtime.
12.
Buying Fresh Flowers
You can buy yourself flowers! There’s even a song about it. What’s your favorite kind? Roses, lilies, gerbera daisies. I’m a peony girl but I recently discovered my love for peony tulips! I try to visit my favorite flower farm, Holland Ridge Farms, seasonally and pick them myself. Having beautiful flowers in the home not only looks pretty but according to the Society of American Florists, a recent study out of Texas A&M University found that they can positively impact mood and emotions. So go ahead, pick out your favorite bouquet, and display it front and center.
13.
Reading a new book
I’ll admit that I am a terrible reader. I always see girls on social media who are on their 50th book midway through the year and I aspire to be like them. One of my 2024 goals is to read more which is why I added it to this list of simple self-care ideas. I’ve only read one book so far this year which was How to Sell a Haunted House by Grady Hendrix. “Wild” is how I’d describe it and I definitely caught myself saying “no f**kin’ way” in every other chapter. I’m on the hunt for my next read. Any suggestions?
14.
Enjoying a treat
You work hard! You deserve a treat. Can you bake without the whole house knowing what you’re making? Odds are likely that you’ll have to share. So plan B, buy a treat, hide it, and enjoy it while everybody is in preoccupied or in bed. Dark chocolate is my go-to but on one of my husband’s last missions to Italy, he brought me home this pistachio butter spread and holy moly I literally have been eating a spoonful per night. Long story short, go Treat yo self!
15.
Listening to your Favorite Music
I love a good toddler beat, especially “We Are the Dinosaurs” from The Laurie Berkner Band. But over the years, my kids have taken a liking to whatever I listen to which ranges from A Day to Remember to Luke Combs or even some early 2000’s throwbacks that my kids judge my dancing to. Music has the power to make you happier. So get those tunes turned up and listen to what makes your heart happy.
16.
Decluttering
Pretty much everyone has a pile of clutter somewhere. Maybe it’s mail, shoes, or an old wash basket full of last season’s clothes that have been sitting around collecting dust (ask me how I know.) That pile of “stuff” might be causing you a sense of dread, avoidance, or even stress. Yea, it’s not the fanciest form of self-care, but decluttering that space can make you feel at peace and accomplished!
17.
Having a Hobby
I’m sorry, hobbies? Yes, my hobbies include leaving the house solo and grabbing a coffee. Pre-mom era I was living at the craft store and DIYing every weekend. I don’t really have that time anymore. But, while on my mission to find my inner patience and calmness, I learned that having a hobby can positively impact your mental health. Do you have any hobbies that you genuinely enjoy doing? It’s ok if you don’t know. It’s easy to lose ourselves in motherhood. Why not try something new? I guess you could say that website development and blogging have quickly become my latest hobbies. I have a laundry list of things that I also want to try like hand-embroidery, pickleball, and gardening. What hobby are you trying next?
18.
Planning an Event
Make a lunch date with your loved one or have a friend and their kid(s) over for a playdate and lunch. Go to a playground and have a picnic or (if you have the help) get wild and have a girls night out. Planning and looking forward to doing something (even if it’s small) is fun and gives you something to look forward to.
19.
Unplugging from your phone
Cell phones, the internet, and social media are both a blessing and a curse. I love connecting with people and seeing long-distance family online but the constant stream of information can cause serious mental overload. Unfollow people who don’t bring you joy, and stop reading negative headlines that induce stress. Set a time at the end of the day where you put away your phone and connect with your family or even just yourself. We weren’t built to process so much in a day. It’s the simplest task that can bring you much-needed peace of mind and emotional balance.
20.
Accepting Help
If you’re blessed to have people in your life who are willing to help, then let them. If they offer to fold your wash for you, bring you a meal, or even babysit while you get your hair done, then accept the help. I used to struggle with accepting help because I didn’t want to admit that I couldn’t get it all done plus I had serious anxiety over leaving my kids. Now that I’m three kids deep, I’ve learned that accepting help is crucial. Having a task taken off of your to-do list allows your energy to be used somewhere else and is all a part of caring for yourself.
Comment and let me know which one of these are you going to try!
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